


I Used To Be (Somebody)

by Sealure



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: All hurt, Angst, Except that's Misleading, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, more like, no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:27:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sealure/pseuds/Sealure
Summary: Ahsoka wasn’t paying attention.She was a little too occupied trying to coax the Silver Angel’s navigation systems into cooperating with her—Trace was a great mechanic, but some of the finer details needed a slightly more professional touch.So when Trace chose the military lane to rise through the atmosphere, she didn’t notice until it was almost too late.Then a voice straight out of her past came through the comm and shattered every last illusion that she'd carefully crafted to pretend that she was okay with this new life she'd been forced to make her own.
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano and Admiral Yularen
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60





	I Used To Be (Somebody)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! I know, I've been absent for way too long, but hopefully I'll be getting back in the swing of things soon. Anyway, here's a little blurb I found in my documents today. It's simple, and super short, but I figured what the heck! So here you go. 
> 
> Oh, right. 
> 
> SPOILERS FOR SEASON SEVEN EPISODE 6!!!!

* * *

_I Used to Be (Somebody)_

* * *

Ahsoka wasn’t paying attention.

She was a little too occupied trying to coax the _Silver Angel’s_ navigation systems into cooperating with her—Trace was a great mechanic, but some of the finer details needed a slightly more professional touch.

So when Trace chose the military lane to rise through the atmosphere, she didn’t notice until it was almost too late.

Then a voice straight out of her past came through the comm, just as strong and dependable as she remembered it.

“ _Have you lost your mind?! This is military airspace. Civilian transports are not authorized to be in this sector! I’ll have your star pilot’s license for this.”_

Ahsoka sat, frozen, as Trace and Rafa tried to bluff and lie their way past the cruiser.

 _“Who is this? What’s your license number?”_ Admiral Yularen was about to lose his temper.

The sisters were still talking, but Ahsoka couldn’t hear anything over her own heartbeat and the Jedi Cruiser was growing ever larger in the viewport. 

She knew that ship. 

She knew every inch of it. 

Had probably _scrubbed_ every inch of it, on hands and knees with Fives and Hardcase and Jesse, as punishment for some prank or other, Rex supervising them, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and and trying to pretend he hadn't found it just as funny as they did. 

It was the _Resolute_.

The ship she’d called home for nearly four years.

Slowly, almost mechanically, Ahsoka stepped forward, gently pushing Rafa out of the way. She reached out, hesitated, rested her fingers on the controls.

“Apologies, Admiral,” she said, her voice so soft she could barely hear it over the rushing in her montrals. “Force of habit.”

There was a long moment of stunned silence over the comms.

“ _Of course, Com—Ms. Tano,”_ Yularen said, his voice just as soft as hers. “ _Understood.”_

Something thick rose in her throat. Admiral Yularen had been one of the first people to ever truly believe in her. He had always supported her, always had her back. He had taught her strategy and helped her with her Galactic History courses between battles on campaigns. She…she...

Oh, sweet Force, she _missed_ him.

“Thank you, Admiral,” she said, swallowing hard.

_“You are most welcome. And Ahsoka?”_

“Yes?”

“ _We miss you._ ”

Tears burned in her eyes, and she felt Rafa and Trace’s _shock_ as one escaped, running down her cheek.

She tried to speak, but her voice died. She closed her eyes and gripped the back of Trace’s seat with white knuckles.

“I miss all of you, too,” she managed, her voice thick.

“ _The General is on the bridge,”_ Yularen continued. “ _Would you like me to call him over, ma’am?”_

“No!” Ahsoka choked out, shaking her head and stumbling back.

“ _Understood,”_ the Admiral said again, far too much understanding in his voice. “ _As you were then, Ms. Tano. I dearly hope to see you again.”_

“And I you,” she said. “Thank you, Admiral Yularen.”

_“Safe travels. And Ahsoka?”_

“Yes?”

“ _May the Force be with you.”_

Her mouth opened in a soundless cry, grief for all she had lost welling up in her heart with enough force to crack it wide open.

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.

“And with you, Admiral Yularen. Safe travels.”

She cut the comms with a trembling hand.

“You can go now,” she said. “Admiral Yularen will let us through.”

The Martez sisters both turned and _stared_ at her.

“Who _are_ you?!” Rafa demanded.

Ahsoka took a shaky step back and all but collapsed into a seat. “I’m nobody,” she said.

“Uh, _nobodies_ do not _personally know_ Republic admirals!” Rafa shouted. “ _Nobodies_ are not instantly recognized by _nothing more than their voice_ by Republic admirals!”

“You…you’re important, aren’t you?” Trace asked with wide eyes. “You’re a _somebody._ ”

Anakin’s blazing presence swept over her mind before she could answer and she physically shrank further back into her seat, drawing her shields in around herself as tight and as small and as little and as hidden as she could, because if she opened up, if she let that warm light in, she knew she would turn around and run right back to Anakin and Obi-Wan and—and that was no longer an option for her.

_I can never go home._

Ahsoka stared out the viewport with tears burning in her eyes as they passed the _Resolute._ She refused to categorize the tearing, pulling, overwhelming feeling in her chest as _longing._

“I used to be.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was inspired by the look on Ahsoka's face when she heard the Admiral's voice coming through the comm. Maybe it was just horror at how much trouble they were in, but to me, it looked like she'd just been hit with an emotional sledgehammer to the gut. She KNEW Admiral Yularen. She'd fought beside him for years. And I just thought, "What if?" And this was born. So there you go! Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
